Are you wondering how your intimate relationship with your partner got to a less exciting stage? What really happened with both of you throughout these years of marriage? How come an active and I do mean really active, sexual vibrant newlywed couple turned into a pair who have “occasional” even “seasonal” sex?
After years of working with women, I have noticed that the topic of sex is always of a concern…Believe it or not there is an intricate relationship tying a satisfying sexual life with a happy couple.
Us women are constantly seeking out for ways to win over our partner. Time and time again, we strive for their approval, fish for compliments from them, we want them to look at us as their one and only, we are in a constant quest to fire up their sexual desire by all means necessary and reciprocally meet their demands. However, the winds of change will surely blow your way and bring along some mood swings or new challenges. Routine is bound to take its toll, children will invite themselves into both your lives and your bed and mortgage will be inevitable. Excuses will include lack of time and the list goes on and on.
But enough is enough! It’s time to put all your excuses, pretexts and reasons for whining about how your partner is neglecting you aside. Stop looking at the mirror trying to chase away your wrinkles and cellulite or blaming it on age. You know very well that it’s not because of the world cup, his mom (oh yes, we do bring his mom into this many times) or your bad luck. Stop thinking and start acting!
Find out 5 effective actions to step out of your routine and step into the sea of passion:
Action #1: “The Rule of all Rules”. Yes you guessed it I am referring to Communication.
Do you remember the first time you met? The first time you laid eyes on him? Do you remember that excitement, that urge to uncover the real personality and feelings of the guy who stole your heart and captivated your mind. Do you remember when you sat for hours talking and most importantly LISTENING to his stories? Sometimes boring, I recon, at others interesting…But back then you were so fascinated by him and you were showing sincere attention to his words, and that was significant to him. Be that person again. Be attentively curious about his day, his visions and opinions. Start Listening to him, he will then be curious about You.
Action #2: “Smile”. Try to welcome him with a warm, caring smile. After a 9 to 5 work day, do you think he cares if the children behaved well during the day? Greet him as if he is your neighbor visiting you, or your best friend surprising you at home… this will make him instantly change any reluctance in his attitude, unwind and be ready to RECEIVE and ACCEPT.
These were some warm up exercises, now let us get to the real deal.
Action #3: Surprise Him… Let him discover a New You, every now and then. Rid yourself of those personal and social believes limiting your creativity. Look at it from this perspective: Pick your favorite most delicious “Plat du Jour” and try to eat it every single day. How long do you think it will take you before you grow tired of it? I am certain that it will never taste as delicious ever again and you would be eager to try something new and more exciting. … Same thing goes for your relationship. Free yourself from the routine you live in and start working on your own growth as a person by developing some vital skills. You can work on improving your mental skills, thinking style, reading habits, education level, physical appearance, hair style… The list goes on and on, and modern women, such as yourself, are never out of innovative ideas. Aim to unleash your powers, bring out the best in you and Surprise Him…
Action #4: Sexually Desirable. Put on your finest lingerie and wear the Alessandra Spirit. Be a Sexually Desirable Woman… When was it the last time you purchased sexy lingerie? When did you last dare put them on? You might think that this is unnecessary… Honestly, did He say so? Ok ….Let us take it from another perspective again: Imagine Alessandra Ambrosio in Victoria Secret Lingerie (not intended for promotion) walking around the house… Woowww… Who could resist that? The headache will suddenly disappear, the antipathy will vanish and there He is On Fire…
Action #5: Learn to say a Smart NO. When you feel the time is not right for you and for whatever reason you deem appropriate, you have the power and the freedom to say no to sex. It’s as simple as that! Do not feel guilty or afraid. You are not rejecting your husband, rather you are proving to yourself, first and foremost, and then to him that you are present. You might have other values to honor at that moment, you are perhaps busy or simply you do not feel the need. And it’s no secret to women that it is always healthy for the relationship to be playful sometimes and to tease your partner a bit. Let’s not forget that men like the chase. (Stay tuned for more tips on How To Say a Smart No).
Now that you have raised the bar, let him run that extra mile next time and start planning to meet Your Expectations… How does that sound to you?
I know you are daring enough to add more creative actions to that list… The more creative you are, the more excitement you will bring to your life!!! Enjoy….